Never let go
by WingShield
Summary: Marlene Augustine, daughter of Dr Grace Augustine, has grown up on Pandora. They both spent a long time living with the Omaticaya people, but a terrible accident got them banned from the ground. But one thing never changed; Marlene's love for Tsu'tey.
1. Prologue

**Hi there people! Maybe I was stupid when I decided to write an Avatar fanfiction, or maybe not. I really think this can be a good story, because my ideas say so, but we'll see!**

**This is my little 'side project' that I have, though I work the hardest on my Harry Potter fanfic, but I'll write as much as I can on this one!**

**Let's begin with a short prologue to get all of you sucked into this, tell me your thoughts about it, if I should continue or not!**

**I just want to clear out some things before we start too:  
>- Bold <strong>text in dialogues are Na'vi.  
>- <em>Italic<em> parts are memories.  
><strong>And yeah, the rest I think you'll understand!<strong>

**Prologue**

"_**So, how do you say 'I made this necklace out of leather straps and crystals yesterday'"?**, mum asked the little group of young people before us. Neytiri straightened up a bit from where she sat in the middle of the room, and repeated the sentence in english with almost perfection. I heard a snorting from the back of the room, and saw Tsu'tey who looked at her with a face that said he thought Neytiri was a real show-off. I smiled at them while I played with my own necklace. There were no crystals in it, but a beautiful red stone that I had found in my younger days when I for the first time followed mum to the forest. _

"_**Good job, Neytiri! Let's repeat it all together one last time before we end this lesson, okay? One, two, three!"**_

_They had come through half of the sentence when the door flung open and Sylwanin ran in with a few of her friends. She rushed through the whole room to us and took mum's hands in her own. I saw the fear in her eyes as she looked pleading at my mother._

"_**Grace, please, you must help us. We didn't mean to, they threatened us and we just wanted them to stop destroy the forest! Please protect us!"**_

_Mum took Sylwanin with her and stepped forward to the door and looked out with a worried facial expression. There was a strange and uncomfortable silence before I heard a shot from a gun and in the next second Sylwanin fell to the ground. Her friends started to fire arrows around outside the building and Neytiri ran up to her sister and tried to wake her up. But Sylwanin was dead. The machine guns started to spit bullets all around and my mum screamed to everyone to get out the backdoor. Everyone, except Sylwanin's friends and Neytiri ran to the backdoor, and I ran up to her and tried to pull her with me, but she was much stronger than me._

"_**Come on, Neytiri! We have to leave or we're gonna be killed!"**, I screamed to her but she shook her head and the tears streamed down her cheeks._

"_**No! Sylwanin, wake up! Sister?"**, she screamed and shook her sister's body harder._

"_**She is gone, we have to leave!"**_

"_**NO!"**_

_She screamed with a broken voice of sorrow and I felt my eyes sting as tears started to fall down on my cheeks._

"_**HELP!"**, I screamed and looked around in the room. **"Somebody help me!"**_

_I saw someone running towards us as I continued to try get Neytiri to let go of her sister. The person, which was Tsu'tey, came up to us and started pull her in her other arm and together we managed to move her to the backdoor. As we passed out through it I got shot in my foot. The pain was unbearable and I stumbled at the small stairs and fell down on the ground below. I tried to stand up and continue running but my foot could not carry my body weight. _

"_**I'll carry you, hurry!"**, Tsu'tey said as he turned his back on me. I climbed up and he and Neytiri started running again. The school building and the forest flew away behind us until we reached a small clearing where Grace had stopped with the rest of the group. Tsu'tey bent his knees a bit and I carefully landed on my healthy foot. _

"_**What's happened to her? Tsu'tey?"**, my mum asked with a worried voice as she rushed to my other side to support me._

"_Someone shot me in my foot", I answered and she looked down at my feet._

"_Sit down and let me see how bad it is", she commanded and I let go of her and Tsu'tey and slowly sat down on the soft grass._

"_This is going to hurt a bit I'm sure", mum said as she began to lace up the shoe. When she started to take it off I clenched my teeth and drilled down my fingers in the soil. The pain was only getting worse. Mum made a troubled face after she had looked at the injury and stood up again._

"_**Tsu'tey, you and Neytiri must lead the others back home, I have to take Marlene back to our domain and give her medical care. Can you manage to do that?"**_

_Tsu'tey only nodded for answer and turned around and started to yell at everyone to get up and follow him. Neytiri did the same and they followed everyone out of the clearing. Before Tsu'tey stepped into the trees he turned and looked me in the eyes before he disappeared after the others. That was the last time I saw him._


	2. Chapter 1 New faces, new experiences

**Hello there! I'm really surprised and of course very happy for the review and the favoritings/story alerts! I didn't think it would happen only after publishing the prologue, but obviously I was wrong!**

**Here is chapter 1, and I hope you like it. Please leave me some thoughts about it!**

**And of course, before I forget it again, I own nothing more than my own character Marlene, the rest belongs to James Cameron! :)**

**Chapter 1. New faces, new experiences **

It was two years ago now, but I was constantly reminded of that terrible day when everything changed. Reminded, because I dreamed about it every now and then. The pictures were as clear as if they happened right before my eyes, and the screams and sounds of the shooting guns echoed in my head. Mum had moved on, or maybe she was just hiding her feelings because she had to. Her name is Dr Grace Augustine, and she is the head of the scientists here on Pandora, especially the group of the Avatar program. We left Earth for 15 years ago, when I was only three years old. And who am I? My name is Marlene Augustine, I am 18 today. I am probably the only human who has ever grown up here, and I know the forest and the wildlife better than anyone else, except for my mum of course.

I raised myself from where I was lying on my bed, put my legs over the edge and streched out my stiff body before getting up and put my clothes on. Today was a big day. A new group of people were landing this afternoon, they had travelled for five years. But it would probably only feel a bit thick in the head, like they had slept over a day or two, though they had been in cryo all the time.

I ate my breakfast with Trudy. She was my best friend and worked as a military pilot, but her biggest task was to help the scientist group with flights out in the woods. We were going on a mission today before the newbies arrived and I told her what the plan was.

"So it's just gonna be you, me and Grace?", she asked as she put a piece of bread into her mouth.

"And that idiot Lyle. He almost killed us last time but they still can't get another one for us. It's like they want us to fail!", I said and flung out my arms in a gesture. Trudy just shook her head as she put the last bite of her sandwich into her mouth.

Last time we were out in the woods was for about a week ago. Mum and I were going to take cuttings from a couple of new plants we had discovered, when Lyle came to close to a herd of sturmbeests and their youngsters, which ended up with us fleeing back to the Samson ship with no cuttings at all. He was that kind of a person who lived with the belief that the men was made for ruling the world and was not able to take directions from a woman, and that stupidity almost led him to his own death. Me and mum would not die of course, we were in our avatar bodies, and even if they got hurt we would not have a single scratch on our own human bodies physically. I almost hoped for myself that he would get badly injured one day, but if I ever told my mother that she would probably ban me from the forest for all eternity.

When the breakfast was done I went up to the link room and prepared myself for the mission. I chit chatted with Lana when my mother finally showed up.

"How are you, Sleeping Beauty? I almost thought you had got stuck in your bed today. We have a lot to do today so we better get going right now.", she said as she passed by us and went to her usual link. "Have you talked to Trudy?"

"Yeah, she's ready to pick us up in a few", I answered and followed mum to the link next to hers.

"Then let's not waste any time. We're going in in four and five!", she said and we lay down and got prepared before the links closed upon us like white funeral chests. I made a sigh and let my mind go blank as I closed my eyes and travelled away to another body.

I opened my eyes and saw the brown, familiar ceiling high above me. I raised from the temporary bed I had slept on, or whatever you would call it. The entering of the avatar body always felt like a release. It was better in every possible way compared to a human body. The physics were not even worth comparing, it was taller and the movements were softer and much easier as a few examples. I got up and changed from night suit to working clothes and went out into the shining sunlight. It warmed my blue skin on my arms and I took a deep breath before I continued across the yard to the biolab to catch the things that we would need for today.

As I had packed it all up into my bag I went out again and headed for the Samson that had landed in the middle of the yard. I saw that my mother, in her avatar form, had already jumped on it and I hurried to do the same. Trudy saluted me with a nod and I smiled back at her as I took place next to mum.

"Where's Lyle?", I shouted to her, trying to drown out the propellers.

"I hope he'll be here soon, otherwise we will go without him today!", mum shouted back and looked around after the man. I secretly hoped he would not show up, but as soon as the thought hit me I saw him running at us with the biggest gun he could probably found. I sighed as he jumped up and sat down next to me.

"We're ready, Trudy!", mum shouted and Trudy made a thumb up and we took off from the ground. We headed to the east, to a little lake that was actually close enough for us to walk, but it was not a safe area because of the waterhole though many bigger animals often visited or passed by.

"Showing some legs today, are we?", Lyle asked me and I just glared at him as an answer. Yes, I had taken my shorts today because it was a nice weather, but even in this body I preferred not to get opinions from him about my clothing.

"You know, even if your _'ex-boyfriend'_ would show up, he is not going to have a chance to see them before I let him taste _this_ beauty.", he said after a minute and stroked the gun as if it was a pet. But I did not care about that stupid gun, he had crossed the line already before he mentioned that.

"If you don't shut up, I'll throw you off this ship with your head first", I snarled at him, and he actually looked a bit frightened before he laughed at me in a try to cover the fact that he was scared of me.

"That's enough from both of you. We need to focus now.", mum ordered, and I looked the other way as I let my mind fly away for a moment.

"_**Hey, why do you have an extra finger?**", Neytiri asked me, as we collected seeds from a big, purple flower._

"_**Because there were severe faults in her construction**", Tsu'tey said and let out a big laugh which spread to all his friends. _

"_**Don't be mean!**", Sylwanin hissed at him and he stopped immediately. I glanced at her thankfully and then quickly looked back at Tsu'tey before continuing picking seeds. It stung in my whole chest when he shot out those idiotic things at me, just because I was a bit different. I wish I was like her. Like Sylwanin. He always obeyed her, whatever she said. And he was nice to her, too. All of this, because he liked her. Of course he did. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and that made me really jealous of her. What made me even more jealous was the fact that she had him, even if she did not want him. I wanted Tsu'tey, from the bottom of my heart, because I loved him. Feelings that he probably never would answer back. He just looked at me with his usual overweening facial expression, but I knew that it was only a façade, or at least, I hoped that was the case._

Trudy landed the ship smoothly and we jumped out. Mum took a grip of Lyle's shoulder and pulled him back to the ship to tell him some rules that he probably would not give a shit about, but I did not care about him anymore. I slowly walked forward in a crouching position, searching for the plants that we found for a week ago. A few meters away from the water I finally found it. The small colourful plants had grown extremely much since last time and I looked around me one time before I sat down next to it and opened my bag to get the knife. Mum came up to me with her testing sticks and gently put it into the strain. She started to work with the connected pad and during the time we waited for a result I started to take cuttings.

"Ah, interesting.", she mumbled after a while. I curiously glanced over at the pad.

"Another magnetotropic?", I asked and she nodded with a smile playing on her lips.

"Take as many cuttings as you can, we have to test if it's stronger than the others.", she said and put the stick into another strain.

"I have 15 of them now", I said and put the last one into a jar.

"That's enough.", mum said as she controlled the other strain's ratings on the pad before taking out the stick again. "Let's get out of here before Lyle gets us in trouble again."

We raised and walked back to the ship. Luckily, Lyle had not moved a meter from the spot where mum had left him. Maybe he finally had learned to show some respect, or maybe he was beginning to be afraid of her. She could be a devil when she wanted to.

"Done?", he asked and looked from one to the other.

"Yep.", mum answered and went to the cockpit to inform Trudy that we were ready to head back, and I jumped into the ship again.

The flight home was uneventful, but something much more exciting waited for us back home. As I had left my avatar body in the safe shack, I returned to the biolab just in time for the arriving scientists. My link opened and I raised myself to sitting position as I heard unfamiliar voices. I got out of my link and looked over to the other side of the room where Max came walking with two men. Or, at least one of them was walking; the other one was in a wheelchair. I walked towards them, thinking I could greet them on my way out.

"… And this is where the results of your brain capacity are saved down for later on when you're going to use the avatars. And this-", Max said and pointed with his whole hand at me. "Is Marlene Augustine, your new boss' daughter and an extremely skilled avatar driver."

"Oh, thanks for the flatter, Max!", I said and took a step forward to shake hand with both of them.

"Norm Spellman, nice to meet you", said the tall and lean one, and the other one in the wheelchair presented himself as Jake Sully.

"Welcome to Pandora and our team, and I guess we'll see each other later", I said and continued passed them to catch up the cuttings that mum had delivered at the door.

When I came back into the lab I heard my mother's angry voice filling out the whole room. Then she came marching my way with a furious facial expression.

"What's going on?", I asked her as she passed by me.

"They've sent us a fucking marine! I honestly can't believe this shit, five years waiting for _nothing_!", she shouted as she slammed the door behind her. I looked around, a bit confused, and found Jake and Norm standing in the middle, looking lost. I went forward to them, feeling a sudden need to make up for what my mother had done.

"Hi, _again_", I said and they turned to look at me. "I'm sorry for that, it's just a hard business that we're working in and mostly these days things attend to go against us more often than with us."

"Oh, yeah, I see", Norm said and I gave him a small smile.

"How long have you been here?", Jake asked me.

"15 years."

"And how old are you?"

"I'm 18."

"Oh, really?", he asked and looked surprised. "You're very mature for your age."

"Yeah, you have to grow up and learn fast here because this world is not waiting for you", I told him and he raised his eyebrows. "Well, I have to get going now, but maybe I'll see you at dinner?"

"Absolutely", Norm said and I made a thumb up at him and gave Jake a final glance before I walked on to a separate room to work with the cuttings.

* * *

><p>Just as planned, I ate dinner with Norm, Jake and of course Trudy. They were a nice pair of guys, though they were completely different. Trudy and Norm however, seemed to complete each other quite well, and I had never heard her giggle so much during such a short time, if I ever had heard her do it at all. I looked over at them and then changed glances with Jake and he snorted and shook his head.<p>

"There's something I'm wondering over", I said and he looked at me curiously. "How did a marine end up here with us? I mean, my mum didn't even want you, but here you are anyway."

"Yeah, it's kind of a strange situation all of this. My brother was supposed to be here instead of me, but fate changed both our plans. He passed away and I lost my legs, and in the end it was all about the money", he said and took the last sip from his glass.

"I'm so sorry", I said with a lower voice and he gave me a smile.

"Well, I needed a change, and I'm happy to be here."

"Sounds like you have the beginning of the right attitude, now we just have to get you more educated and less gun-loving."

"You think it will be a hard task?"

"No, I think you're quite smart compared to many others here, and that I'll manage to turn you around sooner or later."

"We'll see."

We looked at each other intensely, trying to break one another. There was something special with Jake, and it felt like we had some kind of connection between us. I raised one eyebrow which made him snort once again and break the eye contact and I smiled victoriously.

"Maybe this will be easier than I thought", I said and he chuckled.

"Don't celebrate your victory before you've actually won."

I rose from my chair and went away with my tray before I returned to the table to say goodbye.

"I'll go to bed now. You two better be in time tomorrow, and bring some nice faces and words for my mother if you want your first day to be a good one", I said as I pointed at Jake and Norm.

"Good night, Marlie", Trudy said with a smile and I waved at them before I walked out of the dining room. Tomorrow would be very interesting.


	3. Chapter 2 Doubled up personality

**Hi everyone! Long time no see, but now I'm back again! Thank you a thousand times for the favoritings/story alerts! I never believed it would be so many of them! It's awesome! :D**

**I would love to get some reviews about the story so far too. Is it good/not good, and why/why not?  
>Please share your thoughts because that's what counts, right? I want to make a good story!<strong>

**Here's chapter 2, hope you like it. The next one is going to be quite interesting so I hope you want to continue read this story!**

**Chapter 2. Doubled up personality**

I felt the adrenaline rush through my body as I headed for the final obstacles in the long course. I crawled under the barrier and got up and ran to the goal and stopped my timer at the spot. I felt victorious when I saw that I had been three seconds faster than last week, and as I caught my breath I looked out over the big camp area where the rest of the avatars were training and enjoying the beautiful day. Then, suddenly, something caught my eye. One of the doors that lead out of the lab flung open and a blue silhouette rushed out from it. I squinted as I started jogging in the direction that would cross the path he was on. And yes, I already knew who it was, the stubborn and a bit cocky part two of Jake Sully. Although I knew it was fully possible, it still amazed me to see him running, and I did nothing to stop him, because someone else had already taken that responsibility.

I grinned at Jake as he passed me, and looked the other way to find Norm coming in a slightly slower pace, shouting at Jake.

"Hey, Norm! Slow down, you're not supposed to run like that on your first day!", I shouted at him jokily and waved with my arm to block him from continuing. He looked relieved to get to slow down to walking and came up to my side panting.

"I know", he breathed heavily. "That's what I try to tell Jake, but… He doesn't listen."

I laughed sarcastically before I answered him.

"Why am I not surprised?"

We began to walk towards Jake, who had stopped for about 50 meters away.

"How long have you known each other?", I asked and glanced over at Norm.

"Only these two days actually", he said and chuckled. "But I knew his brother well."

"Oh", I said, and got a bit off guard. "I should've been smart enough to think that out for myself."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, a scientist and a marine, that's not really close _at all_, but I admire your friendship. It shows that nothing is impossible, even though some people around here think that."

Norm looked at me with a curious expression, waiting for me to continue, but I knew that saying too much would put me into trouble so I just said '_You'll see soon_'. And at that moment we reached Jake, where he stood and talked to my mum. She seemed to be more positive about him today than yesterday. That was of course a good sign, and she nodded and smiled at me and Norm before she went away through the big bushes next to us. Jake turned to face us and raised his eyebrows as he saw me.

"Hello there, maniac", I said and smirked at him, and he nodded back.

"Yeah, that's a good nickname for you!", Norm agreed and Jake rolled his eyes.

"What would you do if your legs suddenly started to work again after so many years?"

"He has a point", I said to Norm and he shrugged. "Well, maybe we should get you two some clothes so that you don't scare away the ladies."

"It doesn't seem to be too bad, though. I mean, you're still around", Jake said and made a superior expression. I shook my head and waved for them to follow me to the big shack in front of us. Once inside, I lead them to their beds where they had a little wardrobe each.

"In here you have your own clothes and other necessary things you may need", I told them and patted the boxes in front of every bed. "I'll go outside during the time you investigate your belongings and get dressed with something better than those covers."

I went out and sat down on the stairs of the small porch. The sun kissed my face and I dragged out the rubber band that held my hair in a ponytail and shook my head. I pulled my fingers through the thick black mane a few times before I put the rubber band back again, and leaned back on my hands and closed my eyes as I sighed.

"_**Listen up, everyone!**", Ateyo shouted and rode up in front of our group on his direhorse. "**You all have to keep your position so that the formation stays complete, otherwise the prey will be able to escape, and then it's your fault the whole clan don't get any food!**"_

_Bakto moved nervously under me and I patted his neck calming. It felt like I was sitting on the back of a ticking bomb that was ready to explode in any moment now. _

"_**Are you all ready? Remember, it's only practice for some of you, but please do your best and stick to the plan!**", Ateyo said and turned his direhorse, which started galloping on the spot, and put one hand up in the air. He shouted for us to move forward as he pointed with his long arm, and the whole group threw themselves away after him. I let out a shrieking sound and Bakto reared up a bit before he too threw himself away after the others, out of the hiding trees into the bigger field. It was a lovely feeling, being one with such a big and powerful animal, especially when we flew over the grass so fast and majestic. I refocused on the task and looked around me to control my position. On my left, Ninat galloped a bit too slow for the formation, and when she met my gaze, I waved for her to catch up a little. She nodded and looked determined as she mumbled something to her horse, which started to stretch out longer with its legs. _

"_**Left!**", Ateyo suddenly shouted and headed left and gained more speed. We all rode after him, and I searched with my eyes to see what he had found, and then I heard the sound of movement somewhere in front of us. I controlled my position again and reached forward a bit, which Bakto answered with speeding up more. We caught up with the sound and I saw that there was a smaller herd of hexapedes right in front of us, running along the line between forest and field. Ateyo reached out his right arm as he turned to the left side and opened up the half moon that our group formed._

"_**Faster!**", I heard Tsu'tey shout, and as I looked over at him at my right side, he pulled up his bow and arrow and got prepared. I did not have a bow myself, as for this was only my first hunt. But I made an important job in the back, not letting the prey sneak out that way, as the real hunters were positioned in the front and middle. _

_We reached the herd and succeeded in separating three animals from the rest, two adults and one calf. Peyral shoot one of the adults, it fell to the ground immediately in front of me and Bakto had to jump over it, which made me loose my position slightly. The hexapedes was known to be extremely fast, and the other adult proved that by trying to take advantage of my mistake. It made a total twirl around and tried to sneak out left to me, but I steered Bakto to fend off its escaping path and then it was hit by an arrow that came from the right. I glanced up and saw Tsu'tey picking up another arrow and shot the calf before he let out a victorious sound. Ateyo motioned for us to slow down and turn around to pick up what we had got. I let Bakto make a soft, small turn and came up next to Tsu'tey as we trotted back slowly._

"_**Nice shooting**", I said to him and glanced up at him cautiously._

"_**Thanks! You did a great job too**", he said and gave me a big smile, which I could not do anything else than answer back of course. "**Quite impressing for being one of the Sky People.**"_

"_**You think?**"_

"_**Yeah.**"_

_We stopped and got off our horses and I watched as Tsu'tey pulled out the arrow from the unconscious calf before he took out his knife._

"_**Your spirit will now be with Eywa, but your body will remain for the** **People**", he mumbled as he killed it easily. It was kind of a beautiful scene, even though I felt sorry for the little calf, not even getting the chance to grow up before dying. Tsu'tey brought his direhorse closer and got prepared to lift the calf._

"_**You want some help?**", I asked and he stopped on his way down and looked up at me. _

"_**This one's not so heavy, but if you want to help you're welcome**", he answered and I reached down to the ground and gripped the hind legs of it and we lifted it up together and placed it on the back of his horse, in front of the saddle. Just as he had told me it was not heavy, and I am sure he could have managed it all by himself, but I did not just want to stand there doing nothing. It was also nice cooperating with him for once, instead of being constantly picked on. _

"_**Marlene?**", Peyral called, and I looked up at her questioning. "**We need Bakto to carry this one; you'll have to ride back to the village with someone else.**"_

_I took Bakto and handed him over to Peyral, and then stopped and looked around for an alternative companion that I could ride back with. They were all occupied with binding and loading the kills onto the horses. I heard hooves coming up next to me and looked up at Tsu'tey._

"_**You can ride with me**", he said and nodded at the horse's back. I hesitated for a second, surprised by his offer, before I jumped up behind him. It still amazed me how nice he was right now, and for the first time I could understand why I felt so much for him._

The sound of footsteps and familiar voices woke me up from my daydream. Norm and Jake had come out with some real clothes on and were holding the old covers. I reached out and took them and got up to put them in the trashcan next to the doorway. Then I turned around to face them.

"So", I said and clutched my hands together. "What do you want to do now?"

"I would love to play some basketball, haven't done it in a while you know", Jake said and we all laughed a bit.

"Well, let's go see if Ryan and Molly want to play a game or two!"

* * *

><p>"That was awesome", Jake said as we headed to dinner.<p>

"You mean the basketball?", Norm said in a joking tone and I laughed as Jake beat him lightly on the arm.

"Whatever it is that's awesome, I'm glad you liked it", I said and saw in the corner of my eye how he smiled at me. It was followed by a longer silence, and I thought about what I had said, if it sounded wrong or anything.

"_Sooo_", Norm said, trying to break the quiet situation which he obviously felt a bit awkward with. "What's up for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, you, my mother and I will fly out into the woods and you will get the chance to show us your knowledge", I said as we sat down at the table. Norm shined up like a sun and was for a moment speechless, unlike Jake, who had a lot to say after my announcement.

"But hey, what about me?", he said and looked at me with a disappointed expression.

"Jake, you have no experience-", Norm began but he was interrupted.

"It's supposed to be the most dangerous place outside there, I think the one with no experience of that are you", he said to Norm and I could feel the tension build up between the two of them.

"Okay, calm down. You'll get the chance to show what you've got later on, Jake", I said and he looked at me and took a deep breath, his jaw tightening. Then he nodded and I sighed with relief.

"Don't make me regret admiring your friendship", I said and Norm smiled, but Jake looked a bit confused, so I told him about the relation between the two major groups of people in this place. That we were two completely different kinds of people who were forced to work towards the same goal, but in different ways, and that made conflicts between us now and then.

"But you're free to choose with whom you want to put your loyalty to, but I think it's safer with us if you want to be able to trust people", I ended up, and Jake looked like he had gotten something to think about, or, maybe he was just acting like that was the case. It was kind of hard to know when it came to that man.

"Hi people", Trudy greeted as she sat down next to me. That made Norm look like he had won on the lottery and I had to look down at my food to not begin to laugh.

"So", Jake said and turned to Trudy. "You're one of the bad guys around here?"

"Huh?", Trudy said and looked from him to me and back again, obviously confused.

"No, no. Trudy is on the good side. Or, in the middle may be a more correct description", I cleared out and she chuckled.

"I think we both are in the middle, then. You're tougher than all these lab rats together!"

Jake, Trudy and I laughed at that commentary while Norm looked a bit offended, but he would have to get used to it if he was going to hang out with the three of us and manage to be outside the security fences. Because on the outside you could never predict what would or could happen.


	4. Chapter 3 Even good days turn bad

**Oh god, it's been too long since I updated here! I'm so, so sorry, but I happen to be at my last semester of school so it's a lot to do right now, and I don't want to rush my writing when I have time for it because I want the story to be good. So please be patient with me! :)**

**And I'm so extremely grateful for the response I've got here! Thank you so much, I never thought it would be this popular though it's a story that is pretty much following the original plot, only difference is that it's from someone else's perspective. And that's the way it'll continue, so I hope it won't be boring to read this just because of that.**

**Here's chapter 3. It still feels like it's only the beginning of everything and not so much is happening, but don't worry, it'll get better and better!**

**Chapter 3. Even good days turn bad**

"Yeah, you should've seen Lyle's face when he came running with a group of Tapiri hunting him down because they thought he had some food for them", I said as Norm and I got ourselves onto the Samson at noon. "I mean seriously, what can they do? Kill him slowly with their moo?"

Norm laughed as he sat down in his seat and put the backpack in the small space between us.

"Didn't he have a gun?"

"He had, but mum always threaten him to not use it. He's quite afraid of her actually."

"Well", Norm said and shrugged. "That's useful."

"What's useful?", a familiar voice asked and I leaned forward to see Jake climb onto the ship with, surprisingly enough, a big gun.

"How come you're here, with… _That_?", I asked him, feeling very confused.

"I asked first", he said and grinned at me, but I would not give in that easily.

"My question is more important."

"How do you know that?"

"'Cause I know the answer to yours, and it's not important."

"Yeah, but you don't know the importance of my answer to your question, eh?"

"No, but I do know that the reason to your presence here is more important than my answer, so tell me now."

He chuckled at me and I crossed my arms and frowned at him as Lyle joined us. When I saw his gun too I suddenly realized why Jake was here.

"Hey mate", Lyle said to Jake and they made a brotherly handshake. "Watch out for that She Devil, she can be really awful when she wants to, just like her mother."

"You only think that 'cause you're such a pussy, Lyle", I said and Jake whistled.

"Yeah? And you have a big mouth compared to your size, but maybe that's necessary when you're going for big alien guys instead of normal people."

Lyle knew way too much and too well what hurt me the most, but I would never show that, and neither would he show how much I hurt him too when I successively uncovered his soft sides. Let us just say that the two of us had been forced together for too long now. I just snorted and turned away, because I already knew that if I continued it could, and probably would, go on forever. That was how humans of the opposite sex often worked, and I was glad that not every male creature I had met in my life acted that way.

_As we sat down and ate our dinner, a hand touched my shoulder. I did not get time to turn around and see who was behind me, though I felt the breaths touch my cheek._

"_**You want to see something fun?**", Tsu'tey whispered in my ear. _

"_**That depends on what fun is**", I answered and put my last piece of food in my mouth._

"_**You'll see if you come with me.**"_

_I looked back at him and he gave me a mischievous glint. That was enough to persuade me and I made a quick glance around before I got up and jogged after him, away from everyone else. It was still hard to get used to the way he treated me these days. After that first hunt, I thought that everything would go back to normal. He would continue laugh at me with his friends and I would act like I did not care and definitely did not get hurt by every word he said, but something had changed, and I really liked it._

_He slowed down a bit and began to crawl through a tunnel of young trees with much too heavy leaves and seeds, and as I followed I was as amazed as always over how flexible his body was. Then, he made a small jump to get position behind a thick tree and carefully looked around it at something in front of us. I straightened up to sitting position next to him, searching with my eyes, but I saw nothing special._

"_**Wha-**", I began but was silenced by his hand that folded my mouth completely. The touch made me shiver slightly, though I was not prepared for it, and he gestured for me to get behind him. I did as I was told, and was certainly careful that I did not touch him from where I was. He made my efforts wasted though, as he leaned back against me when he spoke._

"_**Look around the tree carefully… And watch. Is that how Sky People amuse themselves? Then you must have a really boring life.**"_

_I leaned forward slowly and found someone standing a few meters away. As I looked closer, I saw that it was Ina't. But what was she doing? She spun around and reached down to the ground to pick up something, that she afterwards pulled over her head and placed it right over the upper part of her body. I did not understand the strange or funny part until I realized that was the way I acted when I had recently bought some new clothes. That was not something usual around here, because these people never bought clothes. _Human clothes. _I continued to watch as she began to make poses, and Tsu'tey leaned forward to watch again. I saw his cheek twitch for a moment before a huge snort escaped from his mouth and was followed by an even bigger laugh. Ina't froze to the ground and I threw my hand around Tsu'tey's mouth and pulled him back behind the tree, just in time for her to stare our way with a frightened gaze. We heard movements from where she was and then suddenly she ran past us without meeting our surprised glances. I thought I heard her sniff too, which made me feel a bit bad about this. I looked at Tsu'tey, and he met my gaze, also looking a bit guilty before a smile took over. It spread over to my face as well, and for a second my mind did not even realize how close we were, but my body definitely did._

The flight out in the woods was quick and when we landed we all got away from the ship, except for Lyle, who mum forced to stay behind as always. We started to wander forward, and I looked up at the big tree crowns and sighed. It was so beautiful. My mother came up close to me, and I looked at her questioning.

"Keep an eye on Jake, will ya? He seems to be a bit nervous and I don't trust him when he carries _that_ thing."

I nodded and hurried forward to catch up with Jake, and he smiled when he looked back and saw me.

"Couldn't stay away from me any longer, huh?", he teased me with a satisfied expression.

"Keep your dreams inside your head. You need to concentrate or maybe you'll blow up the whole planet without even noticing it."

He laughed at me and told me that he had handled a gun so many times that he could not even count on it any longer, but it still made me frightened when he turned around a bit to look closer at something and the pipe of his gun suddenly pointed my way. That made me slowly break the promise I had given my mother and the distance between the two of us only grew bigger and bigger with every step I took.

"Hey, why are you so far away?", he asked me.

"I don't want to get a bullet in my foot", I answered and jumped over a big root. "Believe me, I know how it feels."

And, as a coincidence maybe, that was the moment when we reached the school building. Mum and Norm walked in through the door and Jake began to get up the stairs to follow them, but hesitated in the middle of a step when he noticed that I did not come.

"Are you not going inside?", he asked, a bit confused.

"No."

"Okay."

He seemed to be thinking about it for a minute, considering if he should ask why or not, but then he turned around and walked in, to my relief. I did not even want to look at the building at all, neither be close to it, so I took a few steps away and sat down on that big root with my back against the doomed place.

_When school was out for the day, I followed Neytiri back home. As we came through the last brushwood something bumped into my leg. I looked down, a bit surprised, and found a small tapiricub, maybe only a few days old. It had rolled over by the collision, and hurried to get onto its feet and started to run back in a hopping way to the mother which stood a few meters away, grazing. It hurried to hide safely behind her, but peeked its head out next to her, full of curiosity. I looked at Neytiri and she smiled with her whole face. She went past me and sat down closer to the mother and baby. I followed her example, and sat down next to her. In the beginning, that scared the little one, he or she did not even look at us, but as the time went on its boldness grew._

_Finally, it had decided we meant no harm and came around its mother to greet us. Or actually, it came to me. I let it sniff my fingers and then I tried to pat it on its small head, but then it leaned away, so I quickly removed my hand and acted after its conditions. _

"_**He seems to be very fond of you**", Neytiri said and I looked up at her with a smile playing over my lips. _

"_**How do you know it's a he?**", I asked, curious._

"_**You see that colour on his head. He has a reddish line straight over, the females have a purple one, and it's smaller**", she described and pointed cautiously over his head. He tried to sniff her hand, and she turned it over to let him search over her palm. He suddenly sneezed and it made us both giggle. It felt so natural, being with Neytiri. She was a really good friend. Of course I liked Trudy as much as her, but Trudy was older than me. Neytiri and I was at the exact same age, which made us better suited for each other. Maybe if Trudy came here one day, she could befriend Sylwanin who was older too, and we could all hang out together. If me and mum made a good job with the school, that could be reality one day._

I was brought back from my daydream by their voices and footsteps when they exited the school building, and I rose from the root to join them. We began to walk further into the forest and stopped at a big, but thin root system that was for once placed over the ground. Usually these roots were placed deep into the ground to ever be able to hold up the huge trees. Mum and Norm began to analyze them with the same sticks and pad we used before. I stood next to Norm, giving him the right things that he handled over to mum when she asked for them. I saw in the corner of my eye how Jake slowly walked further away from us and when I turned my head to look where he was going, he was gone. I gave the other two a final glance; they seemed fine without me, and then walked after Jake.

As I listened carefully, I could hear his feet in every step he took. He was not the smoothest and most flexible person I had met in my life, but maybe that was because he usually did not walk at all. I turned around a big stone that was covered in thick leaves and ferns, and found him a few meters ahead, curiously getting closer to a big population of helicoradians. I stayed behind the stone, waiting for his reaction when they coiled up. It could be quite scary and surprising when you did not know what was going to happen when you touched them for the first time.

Jake took a final step closer and looked at one of the plants for a second before he reached out his hand and tried to touch it. He gasped and leaned away from it, and I put my hand over my mouth to smother the laugh that bubbled up inside my body. He looked around for a moment, and then he continued to make the big plants disappear. I smiled as he chuckled, it was a pleasuring sound, but it was also nice to see him having fun.

I turned around, letting out a small giggle, and did not notice the danger before it was way too late. The huge, black beast froze when it heard me, even though it was at least 15 meters away. I cursed myself for losing my attention on the surrounding, dangerous world I was standing in, and froze to the ground myself, hoping it would loose its track.

A sudden, high roar behind made my heart skip a beat and I heard the metallic sound of Jake's gun being handled. In the next second my mother's cautious voice came from the small microphone around my neck. She was talking to Jake, giving him instructions for how to handle the situation, but I could not care less about it for the moment. The thanator had of course also heard the roar, and was crawling silent in our direction. I looked around for somewhere to hide, and decided to move around the stone and try to stay as silent as possible. I tried to listen, to hear if it was close, but that stupid hammerhead did not shut up, and neither did Jake. I tried to whisper into the microphone, hoping that someone would hear my warnings over the noise.

As I looked around the other edge of the stone, I saw the whole thanator climbing over the edge, right behind where Jake had been standing before. I hoped for all of my heart that he had gotten my message, or at least that mum or Norm had reached it, so that they could have passed it forward to him. But by the way the big, black animal was acting, my hoping was worth nothing. It let out an even bigger roar than the hammerhead had, and threw itself down at Jake.


	5. Chapter 4 The door that opened up

**Hi folks! Sorry for my lazy update, but I have so, so much to do right now! Two weeks left of school, you know!**

**But anyway, I would like to thank you all for your big support! It's totally awesome and makes me so happy everytime I get a mail that says that someone like my story! :D Please continue this way!**

**Here is chapter 4, an intense one! Marlene is coming closer and closer to the love of her life... Ooooor? I really hope you like it, and I promise I will be better with the updates as soon as I'm done with this school-shit-thing, haha!**

**Please leave me your thoughts, both positive and negative, so that I can make this story even better!**

**Chapter 4. The door that opened up**

"No!", I screamed, even though I knew it would not help.

Everything happened very fast after that. In some strange way, Jake succeeded escaping from the thanator and began to run deeper into the woods. The big animal continued to hunt him and I decided to follow after, just to try doing anything to save him. The terrain became rougher and rougher, but I did my best to keep up with them. Jake threw himself in behind a big root system of a tree and the thanator pressed its big forelegs in between the roots, trying to scoop him out again. I took shelter behind a fallen tree, just a few meters away from them, and tried to clear my mind so that I could think out a solution, but the constant roars and growls from the big, black animal would not let me focus on anything else. Because that was what I had learned, that was the safety rule number one; never focus on anything else than the danger, even though you do not know where it is.

I was just about to shout out loud to get the thanator's attention, when Jake started shooting wild with his gun. I ducked, just in time to not get hit by a bullet.

"Jake! Stop shoot, you idiot!", I screamed and crawled out under the tree and almost got the gun in my head when the thanator threw it away in my direction. Jake got onto his legs and crawled out from behind the last roots that still remained; the rest had been crushed under the weight of the huge monster-cat-look-a-like. He ran and it galloped after him. Then suddenly, it jumped over another fallen tree that Jake had ran under, and the power from the jump made it catch up with him. The thanator got a grip of Jake and shook him around in the air. I stopped and put my hand over my mouth to not make any sound escape. It was over now, and if I was smart I would leave quickly before it was done with Jake and came after me too. But there were a lot of important stuff in Jake's backpack that I could not just leave here, so I decided to just wait it out. To be ice cold. During these few seconds when I made this decision, something miraculous happened. In one moment, the thanator furiously rattled Jake around, and in the next, he was flying away and hit the ground a few meters away. At first, I thought he was dead, but then he raised and started running again, this time without the backpack. The thanator realized the fact as soon as I had done it, and searched around for its escaping prey. When it found Jake again, it hissed and threw itself away after him again. I ran out from my hiding place and found the backpack on the ground. As I lifted it from the ground, I scanned it quickly. It seemed to be in good shape, so I threw it onto my back and began to run after them. I could look closer to it later.

The time when I had picked up the backpack had made me lost a lot on Jake and the thanator, so I just ran as fast as I could in the direction I had seen them disappear, but I was not going far until I suddenly had to make a slide stop and hang on to a long branch to not fall off the edge and into the water far down under. The panic and the chock made my senses extra sharp and I searched over the streaming surface of the water for any sight of Jake. Then suddenly, a small black and blue head popped up in the middle of it. I saw him swim away and climb onto a big root. He did not look hurt, but I could not be sure.

"Jake! Are you okay?", I shouted to him, for the moment not paying attention to anything else than the swimming person below. That was a really stupid mistake, because as soon as I had finished my sentence I heard loud roars coming from the right. I looked up, straight into the huge couple of yellow eyes that belonged to the only royalty of this forest. There was no time to think, I just spun around and ran for my life. I did not know where, just away from it. The thanator was quick, but I knew it was not as agile as I was. To take advantage of that, I began to zigzag between the trees and bushes and made sudden changes in my direction. It worked really well, until it counted out my next move and came up in front of me. Right before that I had jumped down from a higher cliff and landed a level down in the terrain and next to a big boulder. This made my chances of escaping minimal and the thanator had finally caught me. I took a deep breath as it crawled closer to me, preparing for what was coming. My avatar body would not die as a coward, so I looked straight into the eyes of my murderer, trying to force it away with my killing gaze. It did not work completely, but it actually made the animal slow down a bit.

"_Marlene, where are you? Is Jake okay?_", I heard my mother's voice say in the earpiece. I put my finger on the microphone.

"Jake is okay, but my time is over. See you in the lab; don't look for me out here. Sorry."

When my finger left the little button, I suddenly heard something behind me. The thanator heard it too, and stopped to look up to see what had caused it. A stupid person would have used this moment for a last try to escape, but I knew to well that it was meaningless. I closed my eyes and took farewell of this life as someone who _almost_ belonged in this world. Someone way better than a human could ever be, but never as good as a Na'vi. And definitely never good enough _for_ a Na'vi either. I heard the arrow whine through the air, but did not put one and one together to get what was really happening before I heard it hit something and the thanator roared right in front of me. I opened my eyes in chock, just to see the big animal slowly begin to lie down on the ground in pain. I looked up behind me, and saw a blue body being swallowed by all the green around me.

"**Wait!**", I shouted, but he was already gone.

Could it have been… _Him_? I looked at the spot where he had disappeared, as if it would make me repeat what I just had witnessed. But the picture did not get any better, and I could not be sure if it was him or not, even though I knew that I really wanted it to be that way.

"Mum? I'm alive. Please come and pick me up near by the waterfall", I said in the microphone and began to walk in the direction from where I could hear the water rush.

As I made it back to the cliff, my thoughts wandered back to my saviour. What if it was _him_? Did that mean that he still remembered me? Still cared, if just a little bit? It did not matter that he would never care for me the same way as he had cared for _her_, just a little bit in the wrong way would be perfectly enough. This had woken up something inside me that had been asleep for two whole years. I had not allowed it to come up to the surface, but now it refused to go back to that coma it had been in for so long.

"_**What was it like?**", Neytiri asked when we ate our dinner in the evening._

"_**What was what like?**", I asked and looked at her with a confused expression._

"_**Your world**", she cleared out and looked back at me, curious. _

"_**I… I can't really remember. I was very young when we left…**", I said, and tried to think back in time, but could barely even get small glimpses of what Earth had been or looked like._

"_**Well, Marlene was only three years old when we left for Pandora, but I on the other hand, remember a lot from our world**", mum said ad Neytiri changed her attention from me to my mother instead. "**Our world, also called Tellus, was in many ways similar to this world, but the human technical skills grew way to fast, and the environment couldn't catch up with us anymore. We had a much too comfortable lifestyle, we built own homes that were unnecessary big, and we travelled with different kinds of vehicles instead of using our own body or other animals powers. We wasted our natural resources and that in the end lead unfortunately to a dying planet.**"_

"_**I would like to visit that place some time, just to see what it is like**", Tsu'tey suddenly said. I did not know he had been listening._

"_**I don't think you would've liked it very much**", I said and he looked at me with a strange face._

"_**Why not?**"_

"_**Well, it's not as nice and beautiful as it is here. And as mum said, that place is dead soon.**"_

"_**But she also said it was similar to this world**", he said, and I could hear the stubbornness grow inside him._

"_**If I may guess, I think those similarities are far gone by now, dear**", mum answered, but Tsu'tey did not give in. As Neytiri asked more questions I saw him thinking about the subject from every possible direction, back and forth. He was beautiful when he was in his thinking mode, not looking angry or troubled as anyone else would have done. He did not even frown or make any other strange grimace. He was just plain, like he was asleep with open eyes, but at the same time more awake than ever. Suddenly he came back, focused with his light eyes on me. _

"_**Your world can't be too bad. I mean, it's where **_**you**_** come from, after all.**__"_

_I could not give him an answer that. I was way to happily surprised by what he had actually said. It gave warmth that spread deep into me, all the way to the heart. Even though he may not know how much he affected me, a person would never say that if he or she did not like somebody very much in any way. _

"_We're soon there, have you seen any traces of Jake?_", mum asked as I heard the Samson come closer.

"No, I've been looking down at where I saw him the last time, but I don't know where he went when the thanator came after me", I said and searched with my eyes along the shore, but he was no where to be seen. Then I felt a slight wind blow and looked up to see Trudy's Samson straight over me. I waved and took a few steps from the edge as they let down a ladder for me to climb up on. It was too little space here for Trudy to land on the ground, and we did not know how secure the ground was either. I tightened Jake's backpack over my chest before I started to climb. Mum helped me up the last steps and when I got up I let out a big sigh of relief.

"What happened? How did you get away from the thanator?", mum asked me, searching over my body for wounds.

"I was saved by someone", I answered, and looked at her with a meaningful glance. At first, she looked chocked, and then I saw a glimpse of hope and happiness before she carefully put on her doctor-face again.

"Can you please point out where you saw Jake the last time?", she asked and we looked down at the forest beneath us. I searched with my eyes for the big root on which Jake had climbed up on, and when I found it, I pointed at it with my whole hand.

"There."

"Okay, then he can't be too far away from here. Let's go a bit closer, Trudy!", mum said and I felt the ship sink down a bit closer to the ground. Both my mother and Norm reached over the edge in the search for Jake. I was too tired to manage to help them for the moment. The adrenaline and chock had left the body now which made me very low. I was barely aware of what was happening until I heard Trudy say that we had to head back for the day. It was already twilight, and we were not allowed to be out with the Samson ship any other time than daytime.

We went back and put the avatars in safety in the shack. Then we came out from our links, and we actually expected that Jake already had come back, but that was not the case. Even if we tried our hardest, we could not make him come back, and to interrupt a link in progress could be very dangerous for the brain. Mum had once told me about a scientist who someone cancelled the link when he was in it, and a week later he got a stroke.

"But this must mean that the avatar is still alive, right?", Norm asked.

"Yeah, in most cases, but we don't know how _much_ alive it is", I mumbled and he gave me a frightened glance.

It took about an hour and a half to wake Jake, but then suddenly he opened his eyes. He seemed chocked to be back and my mother was unusually nice to him, but that was after he had told her that his avatar was safe. I let out a sigh of relief and went away from the little crowd around him. But I only got the time to take a few steps before I heard something that I definitely did not expect to hear at all.

"The… The _Omaticaya_?", mum asked, sounding as surprised as I felt. I spun around and looked at them. Jake was smiling widely at her and I could see the hope growing in her as she looked back at him. I could not decide whether I was jealous or happy for it, but right now in this exact moment, I was totally euphoric. Maybe this accident was what I had been waiting for, for two years now. Maybe I would get the chance to meet him now when the door finally had been opened again. Maybe my life would get its meaning back again now. _Just maybe._ And if not, it would destroy me, this time for real.


	6. Chapter 5 Feelings that are hard to get

**Hello there! Now, for once, I've made a fast update! Hurray for that!  
>Anyways, I want to thank you for your support, and also take the time to ask you for some more reviews where you actually tell me something more than just 'I like the story, please continue!'. Don't get me wrong, I love when I get those, but it's kind of hard to know what you really <em>like<em> and maybe _dislike_ too! So please try to sort out what was good and not, so that I can focus on the good parts when continuing this! :)**

**Thanks a lot, and here you get chapter 5!**

**Chapter 5. Feelings that are hard to get**

It took all of my self-control to not ask Jake about Tsu'tey that evening when we ate our dinner. I knew that he had met him now when the clan had accepted him. I guessed he was one of their top hunters these days, and he was of course always present when big decisions, as this one with Jake, was about to be discussed. That I knew because Tsu'tey was going to be the next clan leader, after the current leader, Eytukan, had passed away or would not be able to lead his people anymore.

But it was not only Tsu'tey that mattered for me. Neytiri, my former best friend, had been the one who found Jake. I was glad to hear that everything was well with her.

"So, how do you know her?", he suddenly asked me, when we had discussed what she was like.

"We've known each other for most of our lives, actually. She _was_ one of my closest friends until… _Something happened_", I said, and had to force the last part of the sentence out of myself.

"Was t-"

"We don't talk about that here."

He seemed chocked by my interrupting, but did not finish what he had begun to say because I gave him an icy glare. We made a silent decision to never come closer to that subject in the nearest future, just in case.

"I know Dr. Augustine is good at it, but do you know the language?", he asked, this time a little bit more carefully.

"It's like my second mother tongue, so yes. Do you want some help?", I asked and gave him a playful smile.

"I don't usually take help from women, but this time I may need some assistance to begin with, I tie knots on my tongue every time I try to pronounce a word properly."

"Ha! With that attitude you will never survive living and learning with Neytiri!"

"Maybe she has changed in these two years", he tried and I snorted, which made him smile back at me.

"I really doubt that."

* * *

><p>The next day, at lunch, my mother continued to surprise me with her new fondness of Jake. She told everyone else in the team about the thanator hunt, and Jake put in some cocky comments here and there. He seemed to feel as if he was one of us now, like he had finally been accepted here too, and I was actually happy for him. For a moment, our eyes met and I made a thumb up before I turned my attention to the person right in front of me. It was Norm, and he on the other hand, did not seem to be as happy about Jake's success as everyone else was.<p>

"Grumpy today, eh?", I said, and I saw the bad mood boiling over inside him when he looked back at me. Luckily for him, he swallowed it quickly, but he did not say anything.

"It's okay", I tried again, and he glanced up at me. "To be jealous, I mean."

"I'm not jealous", he mumbled, putting the smallest possible effort in our conversation.

"You can't fool me, Norm", I said and gave him a smile, which he did not answer. "But as I said, it's okay. I'm jealous too."

He stopped eating and looked at me as if I was stupid for real.

"Why? You've already been there and not just once", he said with a sour tone. "You practically grew up with them!"

"_Exactly_", I said, starting to feel more and more irritated with him. "Don't you think I miss them? I would give my right hand to just come back to the clan for one single day again, and then I want to announce the fact that I'm not left handed."

After that, we did not say a word to each other in a very long time. I was angry now, and did not care that he tried to get eye contact to begin to apologize. Who did he think he was, coming here and acting like a spoiled child that did not get what he wanted for the first time? This little fight reminded me of all those unnecessary conflicts I had had with Tsu'tey before. The only difference was that he was bolder than Norm in every possible way, and the fact that I was Norm's coach.

"_**Come on, give it to me!**", I said and jumped as high as I could, trying to take my shoe back. Tsu'tey on the other hand, was much taller than me, especially when he straightened up and stood on his tiptoes. He let out a superior laugh and dangled with the shoe just right over my head, and when I reached after it he raised it just over my trembling fingers. After a while I gave up and sighed loudly._

"_**You think you're a funny guy now?**", I asked and he laughed again._

"_**I **_**know**_** that I'm funny. Why do you use these by the way? Are your feet too valuable to touch the dirty ground around here?**__", he asked, still smiling when he investigated the shoe a little closer._

"_**That's right, my friend. And that also means that my shoe is too valuable to be in the hands of someone who has been with his feet in the dirt his whole life**", I said and made an unpredictable jump at him, trying to catch the shoe when he was not expecting it. I did not succeed. He made a quick twirl around and made me miss it with almost no margin at all. This made him laugh even more, and even though I had a tough situation I could not help myself from loving the sound of him laughing like this. He moved side wards, and so did I. It felt almost as if we were dancing, except the fact that I did my insufficient jumps now and then, still trying to get my damn shoe back. _

"_**What are you two doing?**", I heard a playful, familiar voice ask from behind me, and in the next moment Tsu'tey took a hard grip around my long braid, in which my neural queue were safely embedded, and flung me backwards with such force that I fell and hit my head hard in the ground. For a moment everything went black and then the reality slowly came back, slightly flickering. I grunted and put my head in my hand as a support, though the world was spinning for me. Not just because of the fall, but also because I was angry. _

"_**Marlene, are you okay?**", Sylwanin asked as she sat down next to me._

"_**Yes, I'm fine**", I answered and gave Tsu'tey a dark glare, which he answered back with no emotion at all. _

"_**Good. Don't care about that moron, he will grow up too eventually and learn how to treat a girl properly**", she said and gave me a warming smile before she raised up and walked away, giving Tsu'tey a long, warning glare when she passed him. He on the other hand, actually looked a bit regretful, before he turned his attention back to me. The corners of his mouth began to twitch, but I was definitely not in the mood anymore. I rose from the ground and came up to him, holding out my hand as a gesture. _

"_**Give it to me.**"_

"_**You sure you really want it back?**", he asked, giving me a silly grin. I tried to grab it, but then he moved it away, just like he had done before, but now it was not funny. _

"_**Fine!**", I shouted angrily and took of the other shoe and threw it right at him. "**Take this one too then if you like them so damn much!**"_

_I spun around and marched away, ignoring his lame tries to apologize or catch my attention again. I was tired of being someone, or _something, _that he could use whenever he wanted to impress Sylwanin. And the worst thing was that we both knew I would get over it and come back to him, because he meant way too much to me. 'Stupid by emotions' as I used to call it, but I would not blame myself for still having hope, because sometimes it felt as if that hope was the only thing that could truly keep me alive._

"Hey, Marlie? You there?", Trudy asked and shook my shoulders gently. I looked up at her and she waved at me and chuckled. During my daydreaming, almost everyone had finished their food and left the table. I glanced at my plate, where almost the whole portion was left.

"Let's go, we have a lot to do", I said and rose from my chair.

"It's okay, sit down and eat. I'll wait here with you", Trudy reassured me, but I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry."

We walked out from the dining room and on to the military base. I was going to pick up some stuff that we left in the Samson yesterday. Today there was no expedition planned, this because we had to concentrate on Jake and make some tests with the samples we had already collected during the days that had passed.

"How are you doing, Marlene? You seem to be a bit off these days", Trudy noticed and I looked at her, a bit confused.

"Do I?", I asked, trying to sound surprised though I knew exactly what she meant.

"Yeah. Like you're somewhere else sometimes. Maybe you've been working too much, eh?", she asked and we laughed together.

"That's what the experts say; don't bring your work home with you, it will damage your mind _and_ soul!"

"And you're not even twenty yet!"

"No, what a sad life!"

Trudy laughed and I smirked. I had succeeded in changing the subject in a good way, or at least, that was what I thought for a second.

"Do you still think about him?", she said and I felt my body stiffened a bit. Was I that easy to read?

"Every day."

She must have heard the sad tone in my voice, because she put her arm around my shoulders and held me tight.

"It'll be alright. Now when Jake has one foot on the right side there's only a matter of time before they will let you and Grace into the village again."

"I hope you're right, and speaking of Jake, what is he doing in there?"

I stopped and looked in through the small glass window on one of the doors into the office. In the middle of the big, round room, around the big digital map, were Jake in his wheelchair along with the top manager Parker Selfridge and Colonel Miles Quaritch.

"He's been talking to the Colonel every day since he came here, didn't you know that?", Trudy asked as she came a step closer and looked at them too. I turned to her, chocked.

"No… I didn't", I said and went back to look through the window. "What are they talking about?"

"No idea, that you'll have to ask the man himself. Come on, let's go."

I made a final glance at the three men in the room and then I followed Trudy outdoors to the ground where all the ships were parked. I picked up a backpack and some empty jars and went back inside to take them to the lab. When I was just about to pass the office again the door opened and Jake came out.

"Oh, hi there, Jake!", I greeted him from behind, and he stopped and turned his head to look up at me, a bit surprised.

"Hi Marlene, didn't expect to meet you here", he said and began to roll forward when I caught up with him.

"Could only say the same to you, what were you doing in there?"

"Nothing special, just talking to the boss…"

"Mhm? Last time I checked my mother was your boss, not Parker and Quaritch."

He looked up at me, seeming to not really know whether he should be considered as caught with the hand in the cookie jar or not. I laughed at him, and as we went through a small door I stepped behind him and put my hands on his muscular shoulders. When I leaned down closer to him I realized that he smelled really good, and that caught me off guard for a second. I exhaled loudly and he chuckled.

"Did you want to say something more?", he asked me, his face only inches away from mine.

"Ahem-… Uh-… Yes. This program is very important for us, so please don't make any mistakes that we all will regret later, okay?", I said and wondered why the hell I was acting so sheepish.

"Yeah, sure… I won't", he said, but could not look me in the eyes during the time.

"Good", I mumbled and straightened up again. "Now, go and have a lesson with Neytiri, I bet you need it."

"Hey, don't be too cocky! I could kick your ass in everything they do any day!"

"Yeah sure. If I ever will be let in to the village again I will gladly force you to prove that statement!"

He pointed at me with a smiling face as he rolled into the link room, which I answered by crossing my arms and raise one eyebrow. When he turned around my mother took over and began the lesson immediately with a name check. I shook my head at that stubborn man in the wheelchair and walked on to the lab to begin to work. But at the time when I was sitting down and tried to concentrate I was constantly disturbed. There was something interesting about Jake that made my thoughts refusing to let me forget him for just a moment, and as the extreme problem solver I was, I had to go to the bottom with this before I could even think about doing something else.


	7. Chapter 6 Promises and a thing called

**What's up? You ready for another chapter? Yeah, that's what I thought. Not much happening in this though, but I still think it's a cute one in some ways... :) Or what do you think? Read it and leave me your thought about it! **

**And yeah, before I forget it, thanks for your support, it means so much! :)**

**Chapter 6. Promises and a thing called jealousy**

"_Hey", Trudy said and patted my back. "Are you sure about this?"_

"_Of course, Trudy. It's okay, I've already told them you will come for a visit today", I reassured her, putting my much bigger hand over hers. It was really hard walking slow so that she could catch up with me. Trudy was not in a bad shape, but I could hear her panting slightly behind me. We were not far away from the village now, and I could already hear the children's loud voices as they shouted at each other. Neytiri had insisted on me bringing Trudy here. I had told her about my plan about us four; me, her, Trudy and Sylwanin. She also thought we would make a great team together even though she had only met Trudy once. Neytiri was very welcoming to everyone, never suspicious. Not even when the RDA's came to close and the hunters rode out to force them to retreat, she thought bad about them, even though I did. But she did not know their motives and future plans for this area, and maybe that was why._

_We rounded a big tree and then the whole village with a huge tree in the middle opened up before us. Neytiri came running at us, smiling with her whole face. _

"_**Ah, finally! I thought you had lost yourselves out there somewhere**", she said to me and turned to Trudy and took her hand. "I see you, Trudy."_

"_I see you, Neytiri", she answered and they smiled at each other. _

"_Welcome to our home, it is so nice to have you here." Neytiri turned and waved us with her as she walked towards home tree. Some of the children stopped from playing and looked at Trudy with big eyes. They had never seen a human before, and were not alone lacking that experience. A little girl, who was a bit braver than the others, came up to us, still curiously looking at Trudy. She let out her hand, and was just about to touch Trudy's arm but regret it in the last second. Trudy stopped and turned at her with a friendly smile. They were about the same height, which I thought was a bit cute. _

"_Who you are?", the girl asked and cautiously touched Trudy's arm with two fingers. _

"_I am Trudy, who are you?"_

"_Cha'n'wey."_

"_That's a beautiful name."_

"_Thank you. Trudy is also beautiful." She smiled at Trudy and then reached for her hand. "Come play with us!"_

"_Okay…" Trudy both sounded and looked a bit unsure about the offer. _

"_Come on, Trudy! Let's play!", Neytiri said and took her other hand and dragged her away towards the other children. I chuckled as I ran after them and we all played a sort of "Tag", but there were a difference in the rules of this game and movements of these participators that looked like they were more likely dancing than playing to a human eye._

"_This is so fun! I can't even remember last time I did something like this!", Trudy shouted as she ran after a little boy who was much faster than her. The sound of his laughter was like music to my ears. Then, suddenly, I heard a howl from a distance and turned to see who it was. There was a group of older teenagers coming our way, and the one who the howl belonged to, Sylwanin, walked in the front with Tsu'tey next to her. I waved at them and they waved back, one a bit more excited than the other. I prepared myself to hear some stupid comments coming from Mr te Rongloa Ateyitan, and as I expected, they came as soon as the group joined us._

"_**Ha! What do we have here?**", he said, obviously amused by the sight of Trudy. I glanced at him, questioning what was so funny but he acted as if he had not seen it._

"_**Is that what you too look like in real shape, Marlene?**", Sylwanin asked and I nodded, smiling at her._

"_**I'm a bit paler though, and I have red hair.**"_

"_**I'm sure you're very pretty.**" Sylwanin touched my cheek gently and smiled at me. "**I would like to see you, when you don't look like this I mean.**"_

"_**I don't**", Tsu'tey objected and we both looked at him, Sylwanin giving him a warning glare and I… I just knew what was coming next. He ignored Sylwanin for a moment and looked straight at me when he spoke. "**How could anyone ever be pretty, looking like that?**"_

_I would have slapped him right there and then if it was not for the fact that I knew he was only acting. But that did unfortunately not help me from being hurt; it though felt a bit better when Sylwanin hit him hard over the neck and scolded at him, but still. He was an ass, and so was I who could not stop loving him._

"Heeey Marlie!", Jake greeted me when he came rolling through the door into the lab where I still sat. I did not know for how many hours he had been gone, but what I did know was that I had not been effective in any other way than in my mind. Though I had changed subjects a few times, not to bore myself out of course.

"Oh, not you too. I've tried to make Trudy stop calling me that awful nickname for years!"

"What's wrong with Marlie? I mean, it's like Bob Marley!", Jake said in a cheerful voice as he came up next to me and I gave him a dark glare that only lasted a second. "Don't you like reggae?"

"I've actually never heard it."

"What?"

"I left Earth when I was three, remember?"

It did not matter what I said in my defence, he still looked at me as if I were crazy. Of course, for him who had lived there for 29 years and experienced almost everything it had to offer him it was strange that I could not even imagine what a special music genre sounded like. For me it felt like Earth had never even been my home at all. _Pandora_, on the other hand, was my only home and I had the intention to stay here till the day I died.

"I bet it's not as good as the music is around here."

"That depends on what taste you have."

I looked at him and he looked straight back at me innocently, like he was secretly begging me to ask so that he could tell me his next, catchy line.

"What do you mean?", I asked, with the intention to sound much too excited about his answer. The best part of it was that he played along with me and put some extra effort in telling what he had to say.

"Well, _of course_ it isn't _entirely_ your fault that you haven't heard _anything else_ than jungle music in your life but- Wait! Wait, wait! I wasn't done yet!"

"I don't wanna hear anything more!"

I tried to push him out of the room but he took a grip of the counter, and damn, he was strong! He chuckled at my desperate tries to bend up his fingers and looked very satisfied when I finally gave up and fell back on my chair.

"You're bugging me", I told him and he chuckled.

"Not as much as a guy in the village is bugging me."

"Let me guess", I began and put out my arms in a grand final gesture. "_Tsu'teeey!_"

"Yeah, how the heck did you know that? Were you sneaking up on me?", he asked a bit surprised but jokingly.

"No", I sighed. "Just been there, done that, you know." I glanced at him as he nodded, understanding what I meant. Then he told me about what had happened earlier when he was about to ride a dire horse for the first time.

"He didn't actually do or say anything special, it's just his damn attitude that I can't stand!"

I laughed lightly at his frustration. He did not know how lucky he was, and how jealous _I_ was.

"Well, he can be a real prick, that one. But at the same time he can be the most wonderful person I the world too when he wants to be."

"Sound almost as if you're in love with him or something." Chocked by his words, I looked up at Jake though I could not figure out if he was joking with me or not. It may have been a joke from the beginning, but now he too seemed to be unsure with what he really had meant.

I cleared my throat. "No, I'm not _in love_ with him, but he is one of my oldest friends and of course… That makes my feelings for him very strong."

I did not like lying to people, but white lies… I guess they were okay, though they always were for the best. And this was my private life; I did not exactly have to expose my whole soul if I did not want to, even if it was to a person I trusted and liked a lot.

Jake nodded lightly before he spoke again. "Yeah, I see. Well, I better be off now, I guess someone wants me for the moment."

"Popular guy, eh?" I turned around on my chair to face him before he went away.

"You know it.", he said with a smile and winked at me before he turned around and rolled over to the door.

"Hey, Jake", I called, just when he was about to pass the doorstep. He stopped and looked back at me, wondering. "I may sound like my mum now, but don't do anything stupid."

He chuckled. "I won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

I made thumbs up and he disappeared out through the door. I sighed and returned to my work that I had not even started with yet. This would be a long day.

* * *

><p>I had finally managed to begin to analyse the first plant when I was interrupted. Bad timing was and understatement.<p>

"Marlene, pack up your things and everything you need. We're going to Site 26", mum said when she walked past me in the corridor outside. I did not even get the time to ask why we were going, but got up and made a quick decision to bring all the plants I had not yet analysed. Which was all of them, to be completely honest. Then I went out from the lab and down to the ground floor where some of the small apartments were and picked up some clothes and then went up to the link room to move my avatar to the Samson.

We all met up in the bigger lab to pack all the important stuff together. This was a regular procedure that made sure we got everything with us, but also so that not only one or two unfortunate souls, often me and mum, would have to carry the whole package out to the ship by themselves. Jake arrived a bit later than the others, but he had his bag with him so I thought he had only been packing; it would be understandable if it took a little more time for him to accomplish that. But it actually turned out that was not the case.

"He's been giving Parker and the Colonel way too much info about things they should not even know anything about", Max told me as he passed me. I looked over at Jake as mum gave him information about where we were going and felt very disappointed. I had told him how important this was for us, yet he had not given a damn about it. I returned my attention to the packing with a sigh and did not look up again before I heard a loud 'Yes!' from Norm who was standing right next to me. He took a few steps towards Jake.

"The legendary floating mountains of Pandora, ever heard of them?", he asked him with a very scoffing tone and did not wait for an answer before he came back to my side and continued packing.

"That was very unnecessary, Norm", I told him. "Stop being so childish."

"If he had studied he would've known", he muttered and I paused with closing my bag and he glanced up at me, but hurried to look down again when he saw that I was staring at him.

"We're going there now, it doesn't matter how much you've studied or not. You will still see the same mountains", I said and pulled the zip to the end and took my bags with me and came over to Jake.

"So you're on my side even though I'm the bad guy right now?"

"I just can't take all this jealousy right now, but I'm still disappointed in you."

"I bet you are." He looked up at me and I gave him a reproachful glance in return.

"You need help with anything?"

"Er, no. I'm done."

"Then you can take this", I said and threw one of my three bags, the heaviest, onto his knees and smirked to myself when I heard him groan. "Come on everybody, let's go!"

We headed out for the Samson and got ourselves and the entire package on board. It would be nice to get out of this hole covered with assholes for a while.


	8. Chapter 7 Cheating on nobody

**Helloooo! Sorry for being so non-updating, but sometimes the imagination takes a vacation and you just have to wait for it to come back home again! Here is chapter 7, I hope you like it, but whatever you think about it I would really like to know it, so please leave me a few words!**

**Thanks for the support as always! You're the best!**

**BTW, I've made a "book cover" for this story too, do you like it? :D**

**Chapter 7. Cheating on nobody**

The first few days in the limited space we all had to share was tough. Jake and Norm barely ever spoke to each other and when they did, they put way too much effort in being rude. This of course made it hard for the whole group to cooperate and it made my mother even more irritated than what she already was. Luckily, the shortage of both space and company forced us all together, and some got closer than others. I had noticed that Norm and Trudy were getting along well from the beginning but this little vacation made them connect even more, and that lead to an increasing mood. It felt like it was Norm who was the bitch, because as soon as he was happy again, everyone else was too.

Trudy and I were sitting at one of the small dinner tables one afternoon, laughing at Norm's desperate tries in teach Jake the Na'vi language right next to us. The biggest problem was not the fact that Jake was not the brightest person on Pandora but mostly Norm's bad education skills and lack of pedagogy.

"I guess this is why he became a scientist and not a teacher", I said jokingly. "He's way to smart to ever be able to share his knowledge with others."

Trudy and Jake laughed together, but Norm just gave me the evil eye. I pretended that he scared me, but it would take a lot of him if he was ever going to succeed with that.

"Maybe if you taught me I would learn faster", Jake said to me and winked, which made me giggle. It surprised me, and probably Trudy too, because I could see her reaction in the corner of my eye. I stopped immediately. Norm rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, please, 'cause I give up!"

"Jake! Norm! Come over here, I need to show you something", my mother called from the small lab that was located at the other end of the shed. As they went away I glanced at Trudy and realized that she was studying me.

"What?", I asked and a smile spread over her face. I raised my eyebrows questioning.

"Oh, don't act stupid!", she said and hit my arm lightly. "You're a terrible actress."

"I'm not!", I said stubbornly but she just continued to give me the same meaningful smile as before.

"Jake's nice", she said and looked out through the small window in front of us. "And quite handsome too."

"Oh, _god_, Trudy! Stop it!", I said with a terrified tone but she just began to laugh. "It's not funny!"

"But he likes you, and I'm sure you like him too. Maybe not as much though, but we can work with that!"

"There's nothing to work with! We're friends, _only_ friends!"

"Yeah, continue try to convince yourself about that", she said and looked amused. "Why are you so stubborn? This may be the only time you'll get the chance to get a nice and companionable partner, or would you rather have Lyle?"

"I would kill that man if I got the chance", I said with a dark voice. "And I don't need a partner, I'm perfectly fine being single."

"Okay, okay. It's comforting thought though that he's as stuck as we are here if you'll ever change your mind", Trudy said and I hit her as she began to laugh again. I was so happy that I had Trudy; life would have been so much harder without her by my side.

"Even if I would give in one day, my heart will always belong to someone else", I said with a low voice, putting minimal effort in trying to sound cheerful, and felt her hand on my shoulder.

"I know that, but sometimes it's too complicated, even for your heart's deepest desire."

_It was late in the evening, almost everyone had fallen asleep. Only a small group of us youngsters were still awake, sitting by the small fire that was beginning to fade out slowly. It was getting colder every night now, though the warm season was about to end soon. The burning coal and small flames warmed my skin in a very pleasant way and I folded my arms around my legs and closed my eyes for a second. I heard some of the boys murmur to each other on the other side of the fire and tried to figure out what they were talking about. Then I heard Som'ean say my name and opened my eyes quickly at met his suspicious gaze. _

"_**I've heard that she has something to do with them**", he mumbled and a few of his friends glanced my way. "**I don't trust her.**"_

_I knew very well what he was talking about. It was a growing amount of people who had begun to doubt if me and my mother truly was worth their trust now when the RDA's had come closer and closer to the village. We had tried to explain that neither we or them wanted to harm anyone, but those stupid cows were not exactly as convincing as we were though they over and over again crossed the line by putting trees on fire and destroying important areas where the clan usually did collect food. I was worried too, and had begun to distrust them more and more. There was only one thing on their mind; money. They did not care if they had to kill a whole population to get what they wanted. For them, nothing else mattered than their own wealth._

"_**Maybe they've trained her to kill us in our sleep. That's why she has extra fingers, and is more rough built than normal Na'vi girls. She's a killer.**"_

"_**She's not.**"_

_I looked to the right and found Tsu'tey sitting there, alone. He glared at Som'ean, his eyes full of hate._

"_**Are you defending her?**", Som'ean asked, sounding a bit confused. Tsu'tey did not answer; he just stared back at the other boy and his friends. Though he was all alone and there were six of them, they all looked like they were scared of him. And when he spoke again, they all looked truly terrified. _

"_**She's probably more trustworthy and loyal than any of you, and if you talk shit about her, she's not the one that you should worry about getting strangled by in your sleep.**"_

_He rose from where he sat, turning his back against them, and came up to me. I glanced up and saw how he reached out his hand to help me get up. I released myself from the hard grip around my legs that I had been holding, and put my hand in his. With almost no effort at all, he pulled me up on my feet. He turned to give the others a final glare before he pushed me gently forward, away from the fire. I steered myself towards hometree to get into my bed but he placed his hand on my shoulders and turned me the opposite way, straight into the woods. I did not question him; I just walked where he wanted me to. He was completely ruling me now, in any way another individual could rule you. My body, my mind, my feelings and my soul. In fact, he was taking over me more and more for every step we took, and I had to fight back to remain sane._

"_**Thanks for what you did back there. I mean, you didn't have to-**", I began but he came close and hushed me softly._

"_**Don't worry**", he murmured into my ear and his warm breath tickled my skin._

"_**No really**", I said and stopped so that I could turn and look at him. "**Why do you stand up for me? I thought you didn't like me either.**"_

"_**You know I do**", he said, still with a low voice and a small smile was playing on his lips, but I was not getting myself fooled by it. Not this time._

"_**Actually I don't.**__", I began and wondered for a second if I was about to destroy everything now. "__**Sometimes, I just don't understand you. **_**At all.**_"_

_He lost the smile and broke the eye contact we had as he sighed. I could see his mouth twitch as he tried to form words, but did not really know what to say. After a few seconds he looked up behind me._

"_**It's hard, you know? You're different, but at the same time I have certain feelings for you when I'm only supposed to feel that way for Sylwanin.**"_

_I felt shocked by his words, but could not take it all in at that moment. The only thing that reached me completely was the fact that he had feelings for me. I could not think clear when his eyes found mine again because I was feeling so euphoric. Quickly I put one hand on his shoulder and reached up to kiss him. I did not know what to expect, though I had never kissed anyone before, and I did not know how he would react either, but luckily he did not lean away. It actually felt as if he met me halfway, and it was a strange feeling in the beginning when our lips met. _

_I could not tell if Tsu'tey had kissed many people in his life, but he obviously knew what he was doing when he carefully put his hand around my neck and knitted his long fingers into my hair. Deeply, I wished this moment would last forever, but way too soon I felt an urgent need to breathe. Maybe he noticed it, because he straightened up and as we were separated I gasped for air. Tsu'tey was panting slightly too, and a warm smile spread over his face as we looked at each other. _

"_**Maybe I was wrong**", he mumbled and brushed my cheek lightly with the back of his hand. "**My feelings for Sylwanin can never be compared to what I feel for you.**"_

"_**But still… You're not allowed to choose**", I said as I sadly enough realized the truth. I felt my eyes burn because of the tears that wanted to break through to the surface. I glanced at my feet, trying to blink away the tears._

"_**No, but right now, it doesn't matter.**"_

_He put his hand under my chin and turned my head up again. With the thumb on his other hand he wiped away the small water drops from under my eyes. Then he put both his hands around the back of my head and leaned forward to kiss my forehead before he kissed my lips again. I promised myself that I would never forget how soft his lips were._

"What are you thinking about?"

I jumped as Jake's voice awoke me from my daydream. I did not know for how long I had been sitting at the table and looked out through the window and touched my lips with my fingers, but now it was dark. Probably in the middle of the night, though Jake was not in the link. I could not tell for how many times I had been thinking about this certain memory about the past, though it was probably the one that I liked the most. Even though I had just found out that my love was answered but yet impossible, it was the last cheerful memory I had of Tsu'tey before the accident with the school.

"Er", I began as I put my hand on my knee and cleared my throat. "I was daydreaming, actually. About tasting a special fruit that can only be found near the village."

"What's it called? Maybe I've eaten it", he said and rolled up next to me after he had caught something nasty to eat from the fridge.

"It's called banana fruit, or _utu mauti_ in Na'vi. It's quite uncommon, though the trees where it grows are very high. You're able to pick it if you're brave enough to climb out on the smallest branches of hometree, that's the only place close enough to the banana trees."

"Does it taste like real bananas? Like those from Earth?"

I let out a light laugh before I spoke. "I can't honestly tell."

"Oh right, three years old."

"Yeah, but these bananas taste very sweet, with a small touch of sour", I said and looked at him. "Does it sound familiar?"

"Hm, they're not entirely the same, but that would've been a bit strange!", he said and I nodded with a smile. Then it hit me once again that it was in the middle of the night.

"What are you doing out of bed at this hour?", I asked Jake.

"I couldn't sleep. And then I saw that your bed was empty so I got up to see where you were."

"Having bad dreams?"

He laughed, but I could hear by the sound that it was only half-hearted. "Not bad, it's just… So much to take in right now, you know? My mind is constantly overworked."

"Yeah, I understand that."

"Sometimes I wish that you, Norm and Grace could be with me out there. Like a support, but also like a steady bond to my own reality and life. It gets harder and harder for each day to learn being a Na'vi but still stay human."

I could not help but laugh at what he said. It was such a surreal situation to be in, being able to choose what species you wanted to belong to. Like a mix between a masquerade and television game.

"We have to keep to the plan right now, and I know you're strong enough to make this, Jake", I said and studied him from the side as he stared out through the window. He glanced over at me for a second before he continued to search with his eyes over the silent forest outside.

"Luckily for you, I'm not the kind of person who gives up in the first place", he said and put his hand over mine. At first, I was glad to hear those words coming out of his mouth, but then I slowly realized that they probably had two different meanings. I tried to release my hand from his without him noticing, but that was of course an impossible thing to do. He looked down at our hands and then at my face where our eyes met. I stopped trying to get my hand free and felt a bit bad about the whole situation without really knowing why.

"Does it bother you?", he asked and I did not know what to answer.

"No, not really… It's just not the way I look at you, or _us_", I finally managed to say.

"I understand that, but I still think we have something, like a strong connection, and if we worked on that, then maybe…"

I felt that this conversation was heading the wrong way and I had to stop it. With the daydream still lingering like a soft cloud around my head and my sudden urgent need to be free I pulled away my hand from underneath his and spoke my mind, literally.

"It feels like I'm cheating. I'm sorry, I can't do this", I said and rose from where I sat and rushed over to the bedroom. I really liked Jake, but he could never be what _he_ already was. And when I heard Jake ask "Cheating on who?" behind me, I was forced to remember that it did not even matter. My love was impossible anyway, but that did not mean my feelings would fade. After all, I was not the kind of person who would give up in the first place either, not even when I had already lost it all.


	9. Author's note

Hi guys!

Long time no see. I am so terribly sorry for not uploading anything in over a year now. It has been a really tough time for me personally and therefore I have not been in the mood for any writing at all, which is really sad though I really love doing it, I know I have a great story to tell and the fact that I cannot share it with you. But these last weeks, and everytime you have left me a wonderful review I have felt the will to continue, and I will do it, I promise!

So hopefully, I will start write on the next chapter tomorrow, and then we will see how fast I am able to work. I just want to thank you one more time for all your support and love, it means the world to me!

Love,  
><em>Wingshield<em> a.k.a. Malin :)


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